So let's take a few minutes to explore and have a look.
Problems.
I'm going to pretty boldly state right now that the clients that come to you with problems are only
coming to you with problems because they feel like they have problems.
Sometimes the greatest problem that we have in life isn't so much the circumstances that we're in.
Not so much to do with the situations that we've got going on in our lives or the People's is more often
than not just the way that we feel about our situations and circumstances and so on and so forth.
But here's the thing.
Bottom line as life coaches if we are to be a fact of life coaching and supporting or mentoring or guiding
or leading or nurturing people in life we have got to understand a pretty effective problem solving
process.
I remember the idea that responsibility breeds empowerment.
People are only ever going to become empowered in life when they take responsibility for overcoming
the issues and problems that they have for themselves.
The problems that many people actually have them aren't so much circumstantial or situational and sometimes
the gross problem that people have is actually just wrapped up in their own irresponsibility and willingness
to own those issues that are actually theirs.
All right.
Because many people focus more on what they don't want in life than upon what they do.
So what I'm seeing here is a many people's perspective is naturally problem focused instead of solution
focused when our outlook on life is solutions solutions.
You know how am I going to get more off in my life.
What I want then we don't have time for focusing on the things that we don't want and the things that
we don't like.
Why.
Because we're always naturally working towards something.
So what I'm saying here is that people's effectiveness in life is generally going to be determined by
their outlook.
People will focus on the negative or they will focus on the positive.
So what I'm not encouraging here is positive thinking.
All right.
You can read all the positive thinking books in the world and you can chant as many mantras as you want
and all that kind of thing.
But it sure ain't going to get you any results if you're not making modifications on an artist should
know on a volitional level which is all about the choices that you make.
All right.
So I want to share with you here.
Kind of like an overview of the problem solving process first and foremost and then we're going to explore
what that old hero how hero of mine Jennifer Egan has to say about the matter.
So first things first.
If we are to be effective are helping people solve and overcome their problems in life.
We've got to get pretty good at defining what problems are and also what problems aren't.
Because sometimes some people will focus more on what problems aren't than what on that part of what
they are.
I remember having a coaching session once it was actually a young lady who I stopped working with.
All right.
And she came to me and she says yes I am really really anxious and stressed and I have these panic attacks.
All right.
And in the end AM after a few weeks I literally could not for the life of me establish what the root
of this problem actually was.
Right.
The reason why you should come for caution is because are boyfriend or a partner at the time he was
working over in America and she wanted to go across and visit him.
All right.
But she was having these panic attacks and anxiety attacks and all this kind of stuff about getting
on a plane and I said Have you ever been on a plane before.
And she'd never been on a plane before.
I said Have you ever known anyone who's gotten a plane has died before.
And she said no.
And then we looked at the motivation the reason why she should get on a plane and all the rest of it
and she just wouldn't book these tickets.
She wouldn't budge.
She would move.
And as things transpired.
Believe it or not she was actually panicking at the thought of just panicking on a plane.
She was getting anxious at the thought of just being anxious on a plane.
And sometimes what I'm saying is there are some problems that people have.
You can't coach them through all right.
Sometimes some people just need to mature and thinking first and foremost.
All right.
Before we can actually help them or support them.
So first things first we've got to define what problems actually are and if a client is coming to us
with problems will we given that time and space.
All right.
We know that more often than not it's not that people who actually have problems is just they they haven't
yet identified solutions.
All right.
So first things first the first part of the problem solving process is defining what the problem is
then we've got to analyze it.
We've got to look at how these problems actually work in itself how it's not work in itself who these
problems are actually impacting if it is in fact impacting anyone we've got to work out what it is and
what it isn't but sooner rather than later we've got to we've got to start looking at solutions because
here we're focusing on problem here we're focusing on problems and people have a tendency of feeling
about which they focus on.
Remember thoughts produce feelings.
So can you imagine what it would be like back in the day when many counselors in many forms of therapist
were sitting there sofa cross-legged with her no pardon pen and they're asking people about their childhood
memories.
People are coming in because of sad or deprived or depressed because there were perhaps some bad things
happen to them back when they were young and then you know you ask this person to focus on and think
about and talk about their childhood memories.
This is kind of like put your put your hand on the stove on a white hot stove and expecting not to get
burned all right.
When we focus on hurtful painful events from our pasts guess what happens we feel that all right.
We can't do anything about the past but we can do everything about our future.
All right.
So we're gonna be either problem focused our attitude is gonna be one off focusing on problems or it's
gonna be one of focusing on solutions.
So this is kind of a switch.
People were focusing here upon what they don't want upon what they don't want but what they don't want
but focusing on what we don't want isn't focusing upon what we do want which is the solution.
The person isn't focusing on what they do actually want.
Well we have no goal there's no goal to work with here there's no goal to start getting smart about
all right.
You catch on when I'm cooking.
So what I like to do is work with clients to identify a number of possible solutions.
All right.
Because variety is the spice of life.
And we like to.
We like to leave people empowered to make decisions for themselves.
Right and sometimes our decision that a client will make in terms of overcoming a problem or you know
actively working towards solving an issue in their life may not always be the best option but at least
getting a move in.
Well that's progress especially if someone isn't moving.
All right.
So we just want to get people thinking about taking up four step once we've identified the number of
solutions.
Then through the process of elimination we want to get them to choose the solution.
This is not about us advising or saying well that looks like the best option to me all right.
It might be the case that we agree with a client what if they say well you know I think this is going
to be there and the solution that I go for.
I think this is going to be the action step that I that I take next.
Then we put in place a plan of action so we can hold them to account right through the implementation
phase which is going to happen between now and the next session by the way.
All right remember if you don't take action they can't have a second set.
Second session because at no point haven't done anything.
Kitchen must be progressive though it may be the case that life happens stuff gets in the way and a
client does have some valid reasons why they haven't taken the action steps that they need to further
say that they want to take or it might be the case where absolutely petrified or burning up with anxiety
or something like that.
In which case we then might want to go and explore some limiting beliefs and explored the thought patterns
with them we might want to use socratic questioning so they can logically and rationally work through
their own internal process of life interpretation.
All right but if after a few weeks a client isn't taken action then this means that they're not receptive
which therefore means that they're perhaps not yet ready to change.
That's going to be a choice then that we need to make some point.
Are we going to continue to give our time to someone who isn't ready yet or willing to change this down
to us.
I know many coaches many therapists who will continue to work with clients we can we code's new impacts
ever made no solution no solutions ever come about and I know many coaches and therapists are fine with
us and they're more than happy to call themselves professional but I would be more inclined to call
these people was completely incompetent.
All right.
An incongruent at the same time incompetent and incongruent.
All right.
But that's just me.
I'm a results focused kind of guy.
So last year when I had a conversation with Mr. Jarrett Egan author of the skilled helper.
Right.
I was actually pleasantly surprised to find that yes Grant we both come from different corners of the
globe we've both got some very different sets of life's experiences and some very different looks and
life but there was a few ideas that we both fundamentally completely agreed upon.
All right.
And this was the process that Jerry takes to solve and problems in life.
Very very simple right.
I'm going to demonstrate this in the next video or with current prices the Gerard Jernigan problem solving
framework right.
That again is just very very conversational and he actually kind of breaks down the problem solving
process in the three stages.
All right.
So media here have presented you with sex but the sex can kind of be broken down further into into three.
Define a problem analyze problem is just one conversation within itself so we can kind of categorize
these two together then we've got identifying solutions and choosing solutions.
That's kind of like part two.
And then there's the final plan of action and implementing these action steps that's kind of phase three.
All right.
So this is kind of what Jerry was talking about.
And the first stage that he referred to in terms of his skilled help her model was the first phase of
exploration where he's just simply having a conversation with his client to work out what's going on
for them and this to find out the back story what the issue is what the issue isn't and really get to
the roots of why this issue or problem is holding them back is helping them or the client to identify
a source of pain or deficit in their life.
Because people don't like deficits and people don't like pain.
Most people just want feel happy and fulfilled in content.
So once we got to the root reason why this pain or deficit exists then it's very very easy for us to
shift the focus of the conversation away from what they don't want and towards what they don't want
towards what they do want.
Well fantastic so you don't want this pain.
You don't want this deficit.
What do you want instead what do you want instead.
Very very simple and a very very powerful question that we can use to shift a person's perspective right
away.
No not just talking coaching skills here I'm talking about conversational skills that you can build
into the context of your day to day relationships of people.
If you do have a family member or a friend or a loved one or someone who you hang out with who is just
so doom and gloom and focused on the worst case scenario all of the time I can hear you talking about
what you really don't want to hear but tell me what do you want instead.
I'd love to find out what it is you do want in this area of your life.
Most people never think like this.
They become so transfixed and focused and kind of mesmerized by what they don't want they never think
about what they actually do want instead which is why encouraging this is a natural process.
It's something that we must do with intentionality.
All right.
Getting people from the negative into the positive can sometimes be hard work because for many people
living and operating in the negative is kind of their default mode.
All right.
So coaching is very very much a perspective and attitude shifting process.
So this stage involves challenging existing world views existing perspectives attitudes or that kind
of stuff you know asking them so how is this substitute houses outlook on life actually serving you
is it serving you is it serving other people.
Remember that's the matrix A shared with that last video or the video before it or is this When win
lose win win lose or is this lose lose.
And that's when we can use frameworks like that to help our clients or those people that were trying
to help and to identify how their attitudes or habits or behaviors are potentially costing them more
than they're willing to lose.
And then we've got to jump right into action planning so once we're clear on what we feel we actually
want of what our clients want.
That was fantastic.
So what are the possible solutions.
What's the best solution.
What's the first step you can take.
And okay was a second step.
You're gonna take what we do first.
And by when and again we integrate the smart goal set and framework into this process is all and well
having no having a goal but the goal must be framed in the positive.
Otherwise a person stands a risk of perpetuating back to their past and now which they don't want.
All right.
So we use again the smart goal set and framework just to analyze the goals.
What's the first step you going to take and by when we do this we want our clients to be holding themselves
to account.
All right.
So this is that this is the skilled helper model and that's the problem solving process.
Very very simple very very straightforward.
We've built a resource into this video that I think I mentioned is called The Problem Solving workbook.
And to be honest with you in time through experience this will just become a conversational habit for
you.
All right.
So it just becomes kind of like riding a bike.
Once you have started working with people or helping people in this way and it just becomes second nature
to you.
But until it does become second nature you may have to go against your own default mode and really kind
of go through this process with intentionality and purpose and to help you do this with the resource
and the additional materials sanction so going to strongly urge you to take yourself through the process
first for first and foremost to familiarize yourself with it.
Then in the next video I'm going to welcome back Curran where we're going to have another conversation
and we're just going to simply look at a problem that current currently has in our life not going to
give any warning to come up with a scenario here.
We're just going to ask you to be completely honest about a problem that she perceives herself as having.
And then I'm going to address it and work with it using this skill to help our model problem solving
framework.